The Art of Releasing Contempt + Opening the Heart

In the midst of the modern world, we find ourselves working towards goals in educations, career fields, athletic scenarios, and other similar situations that can often cultivate a sense of competition. I think that this element of rivalry between our peers and those around us poses as a large hurdle we must overcome if we wish to reach a state closer to contentment and happiness. We are all beautiful, talented, and stellar human beings in our own way, so we need to learn to ease up on comparing ourselves to our counterparts and learn how to genuinely want them to succeed in life as well.

Juneau, Alaska // June 2016 — Juneau, Alaska // June 2016

Personally, I have dealt with the feelings of insecurities and inferiority in my own life, and I know it is easy to at first approach the person who is causing such feelings with an air of scorn. However, I learned a powerful lesson after reading The Art of Happiness, by Howard C. Cutler, which reflects on quotes and ideas from the Dalai Lama. In a particular portion of the book, Cutler writes of his experience on an airplane where he immediately took to disliking his seatmate without any real reason. At first Cutler allows himself to simply just go on feeling some sort of contempt for this complete stranger, but then he realizes he needs to look inward and release himself from these spiteful feelings. He forces himself to look at his seatmate and find the similarities between the two of them, eventually breaking everything down to the conclusion that they were both human beings on this planet and that everyone has their luck and challenges in life. After coming to this awareness, Cutler detached himself from negative energies and was left feeling more at peace.

Now as I move through life, if I ever feel an inkling of a grudge towards another person seep in, I remind myself to take a step back and really break down what I actually know about the person and why I feel like I have the grounds to feel the way I do. Almost every single time I end up feeling extremely liberated as I once again become cognizant of the fact that neither one of us has to be “better than the other.” We all have our own individual journeys, there is plenty of love in this universe for us all to equally receive, and another person’s beauty and light does not take away from our own.

I think that in our contemporary society it has become so normative and casual to say things like “I hate…” in reference to someone or something. In all actuality though, do we really hate what we say we do? Essentially, does not one fiber in our beings feel less than hate for this person or object? For example, even if someone said that they hated pizza, they are taking a strong side. That is saying that the person could not even find appreciation for the smaller elements like the basil, cheese, crust, toppings, or sauce that went into creating the pizza as a whole. I feel that in moving towards a more positive universe, we need to start looking at the sincerity of the things we are saying, especially when it comes to hate statements. People can definitely have opinions and dislike things or disagree, but it is important to also recognize that you can feel that way while still, after breaking something down, acknowledging feelings of admiration or empathy.