grateful soul

Exactly a year ago I nervously hovered my cursor over the “publish” button, eventually mustering up the courage to finally unveil this blog of mine. After years of using writing to heal and capture memories, feelings, and thoughts, I realized that a lot of my emotional battles would have been less destructive had I felt like I wasn’t alone in my experiences. I felt ready to be completely vulnerable, letting my heart and mind be an open book, with the hope that even one person would feel more connected in this overwhelming world as they resonated with the feelings I expressed.

Within just the first 36 hours, I had over 200 views, and a tremendous amount of love and support filling up all communication outlets. I couldn’t believe it; here I was, putting my most raw self out into the public eye, and what came back was the strongest feeling of care and belonging that I had ever sensed. And for that, I am indescribably grateful. From that moment on, no matter how low of a day I had, or how invisible I perceived myself to be, I could not ignore the amount of genuine love that still existed around me, even if it remained tucked away in secret crevasses of people’s hearts. While my goal with this blog is to inspire others, I am completely indebted to everyone who reads these words that I sputter out and to everyone who has encouraged me and unwaveringly stood by my side. Without such an amazing network of souls, I would never have been, nor would I remain, inspired to pursue my endeavors.

In honor of this one-year mark, as well as the season of gratitude, I wanted to share my appreciation and urge you all to reflect on your own sources of gratitude. So much of this journey has revolved around being my most honest identity, learning to accept all aspects of myself and recognizing the people in my life who embrace me unconditionally. With that in mind, I wanted to focus this post on emphasizing how important it is to live authentically, and how when you guide your life from the purest form of yourself, you magnetize so much genuine love and positivity. It is okay to be scared and to feel uncertain, but being truthful about these feelings allows you to seek and welcome whatever it might be that will make life a little easier and happier.

Sometimes the world can be daunting, the uncertain future anxiety inducing. There will be times where it is hard to smile, or you can’t quite peg what is getting you in a funk. We are human. But humans need connection, and despite every ounce of your being telling you that it is best to just hole yourself up and remain isolated for a while, keep in mind that there are people near you who either have felt your feelings, or are currently feeling the same way, and that they can help you through. It is beginning to be the time of year where traditions and family gatherings are at the forefront, and whether you end up expressing your appreciation or not (though I highly encourage vocalizing your thoughts!), reflect on how those close to you have impacted you as an individual, and how your presence has affected them in return. Maybe the person who has had a large influencing in shaping you isn’t even very directly active in your life, maybe it was some tough criticism that helped spark your now positively-attributed personality, or maybe you are fortunate to always have been filled with a loving warmth. Whatever it is, positive or negative, try to find the silver lining, give thanks, and appreciate all of what makes you uniquely you.

Don’t be afraid to let the walls of your heart down, to be honest with your thoughts and share them with others, and to acknowledge all of your experiences that have brought you to this position you currently find yourself in! Happy Monday, wishing everyone a week full of gratitude and light! Words cannot express how grateful I am to have such incredible support and such loyal readers!

For those of you who have never read Liz Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love,” I highly suggest that you add it to your reading list (along with her book “Big Magic”!). When people ask me who my celebrity idols are, and mind you, I’ve never really been the fan-girl-type, I have three people I might suggest depending on my mood: comedian Ellen DeGeneres, chef Gordon Ramsay, and yes, author Elizabeth Gilbert. My wanderlust, spontaneous soul has always admired Gilbert’s story of leaving her conventional life in search of a deeper meaning, all while trusting in the universe’s divine guidance. My personal Instagram plays homage to the novel with categories dedicated to “Eat,” “P(l)ay,” and “Love.” Long story left un-shortened…. I revere Gilbert and her journey with all my heart.

One March night, after I had recently arrived back from my trip to Canada, I caught my mind spiraling with all the possibilities of where I could travel to next, and of course I couldn’t help but tease the possibility of getting up and just moving to a foreign country for a month without a plan, much like Gilbert. I jokingly said in my head, “Well at least I got the eating part out of the way,” as I reminisced on all the cheese platters and other rich foods I had consumed in Québec. It wasn’t until the next month that my trips to Israel and Hawaii were solidified. And once again, as I fell asleep I realized: my trip to Israel was going to be for soul searching and praying, while my trip to Hawaii was going to be spent in the company of my family, the people I love most. I had found the “Pray” and the “Love” pieces to my very own “Eat, Pray, Love” quest!

May and June rolled around, and I couldn’t have been more overjoyed at the idea of having traveled to three different unique destinations, all with their own purpose, in the span of under four months. First, in Canada, I indulged in heaps of cured meats with fruit preserves and buttery chocolate chip croissants, washed down with sweet wines and floral gins. Next, in Israel, I meditated, I pushed myself to overcome things I couldn’t have imagined before, and I wept when I came in the presence of the Western Wall. Then came time to dedicate life to love and those closest to me in Maui, a destination very dear to my heart. I modified my “Love” phase to be symbolic of paying homage to my roots and soaking up my favorite sceneries with my wonderful parents and sister. After all, I couldn’t expect to be swept off my feet by some guy while in Hawaii like Gilbert experiences in Bali, right??

So now, it’s been two months since I’ve arrived back home after my travels, and I am now in a relationship – with a guy that I connected with while I was in Hawaii. Although he himself wasn’t physically on the island, the universe has a funny way of working out, and I couldn’t be happier, not only with the direction life is going in, but also that I got to live out my own little “Eat, Pray, Love” that I had always dreamed of. Life is spontaneous, and these past months have been full of surprising changes and opportunities that I couldn’t be more grateful for. Sometimes things happen quickly and unexpectedly, but always remember to trust in the universe and let life flow! Open up your heart to the potential of what your heart and soul are seeking, enjoy the moment, and the universe will provide you with more than expected! We all are going through our own journeys, so you must enjoy your own for what it is! Don’t be afraid to share you stories, reach out to others, and always live life in the moment!

365 Days of Gratitude

An Ode to “Eat, Pray, Love”